Saturday, February 8, 2014

Sympathy Cards

I LOVE SHOPPING FOR CARDS AND STATIONERY (though I cringe at some of their prices,) so if I don't see what I want in my personal stationery box, out I go. 

What do I look for in a sympathy card? Two elements:  design/art and printed verse/message should convey your personal style but more importantly:  it should feel compatible with the grieving person and circumstances of the loss. You'll know it's the right one when you find it.

Avoid splashy, crazy, chaotic designs, and plee-e-e-e-ze: no musical or recordable message cards!!

But wait! Don't just write "I'm sorry" and sign it! What's memorable about that? Set the card aside and, on a plain sheet of paper, start composing a message. Use the name of the deceased, make note of the relationship--and qualities you admired in the deceased or the bereaved. 

One of the most important condolence skills I can coach, is:  do not try to explain, fix, or heal the loss.  It is not in your power to do so, it is not expected, and your well-intentioned suggestions will not be appreciated ... just "care" ... care enough to write that condolence note.

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