Grieving puts people under tremendous stress.
Initially-- after the death of a loved one, there are so many things to do:
- funeral planning and the functions surrounding one
- non-stop phone calls, made and taken
- packing and vacating a care facility where the deceased spent their final weeks
- writing checks... and then writing more checks
- and many, many more tasks
Acknowledge this in your note, and step up with help, if possible.
Grieving is exhausting.
"When this is over, I am going to collapse somewhere."If I had a dime for every time this was said... There is a remarkable parallel between the vigilance of family surrounding a dying person, and the attention paid to an orderly and respectful disposition of the loved one's body and worldly possessions.
- at the mercy of life forces and their mystery, there is no rushing--even advance directives follow a process
- if bedside shifts are assigned, there is usually one person serving as advocate and guardian
- being lovingly in charge requires a person to stand on slippery rocks against the unceasing waves of situation
Again, acknowledge this in your note.
Yes, condolence has healing powers.
- There is scientific proof that feeling sincerely cared for, has an immediate impact on our health. Blood pressure and heart rate lower, calming hormones are released.
- Writing a condolence note is an act of compassion, and its healing powers touch the writer, too!
- A well-written, hold-it-in-your-hand condolence note will be read many times, and with each reading, a healing moment is experienced!
Thank you for caring.