3 Adopted Bucket Lists: Do's and Don'ts

This spring, I read a story about a young woman who decided to finish her Grandma's bucket list. 

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Does this happen often? I wondered. 

Increasingly so! 

Embracing the bucket lists of others provides 'instant life purpose' and a unique form of tribute. Some orphaned bucket lists 'trend' on social media and are fulfilled many times over.

A Bucket List states actions and experiences sought before death. It may be committed to memory or paper, composed thoughtfully or on a whim, born of envy or emptiness. 

Susan Vieria was the recipient of a heart donation, and committed herself to completing the adventuresome goals of her donor, Kristina Chesterman. The 21 year-old nursing student was killed by a drunk driver in the Fall of 2013. On her unfinished bucket list: travel, ride a camel, and learn to fly a plane!

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"Her heart will fulfill the list," promises Susan.

In fact, that list, found in a makeup bag by her parents, has garnered not only their participation, but the enthusiasm of many others who read the list on a Facebook page. 

Then there's Hannah, seeking a crowd funded trip to England. Her mom's "biggest dream" was unfulfilled in life, but her ashes will be carried there, soon.

 Kaileigh Fryer of Sydney, Australia left a list that received media attention--and scores of participants stepped up to complete dreams such as donate blood, plant a tree, write a book, and learn Spanish. 

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Though the stories make for good reading, and seem to swell hearts like chia seeds in water, the Condolence Coach is wary of a trend to publish a decedent's private papers, including bucket lists.

This does not preclude a private tribute to your loved one, should you find a bucket list. And if adopting that bucket list takes you to England, a Spanish language class, or a Saharan camel riding excursion... you might quietly share the impetus in a condolence note.

• Write to the person closest to the deceased:  spouse, child, parent.
• Express your admiration for the person and their dreams.

  

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• Explain why you chose to fulfill one of their dreams and by all means, share a good story about doing so.

Suzy St. John

And then, let the loving experience drift off like a soft cloud in a summer sky. It does not need a Tweet, a Like, a Post, a Follow or a Pin...

However, SHARE this post with a friend, and thanks for caring!