Monday, March 15, 2010


TALKING ABOUT DEATH can be difficult, awkward, even frightening. In western culture, we are so used to avoiding specifics and applying euphemisms that the mystique surrounding our shared conclusion (death!) continues.

During workshops, classes, and presentations, I always leave time for questions...

Q. I just found out that a former co-worker's dad died last year. Is it too late to send a note?
A. It is never too late to send a note. Never. The death remains a fact in your co-worker's life and, in a year's time, the stream of sympathies has likely dried up. Your note will be a gift.

Q. Won't my note stir up more pain?
A. Your note will arrive where the recipient is in their bereavement. We do not "make" someone feel one way or another, but a sensitive condolence note can be very comforting. In my book, I describe the Keys To Comfort-- tools for non-judgemental expression. All losses are not the same.

Q. I sent flowers to the funeral home, with a message for the card; isn't that enough?
A. Is it? A flower card is the size of a business card, and frequently computer generated. Perhaps you have a memory of the deceased that could be shared in a handwritten note.

Thanks for caring! I welcome questions from my blog readers.

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