The Gift of Last Words

Twilight

Twenty-four hours before his transition, weak, and sedated for comfort in his home hospice bed, Raymond called me over and said softly, "I may not be able to talk tomorrow; there are some things I'd like you to write down."  I took the notebook I'd been using to log medication doses, opened to a new page and replied, "I'm ready, Ray. I'll write down anything you wish."

Over the prior three days, once we had found the right drugs to support his comfort, Ray had spent many hours in a twilight of sleep. Disease symptoms still broke through occasionally, but there were longer intervals of peace. I believe, as do most hospice professionals, that end-of-life sleeping is often a time of life processing, healing of psyche, and soul invigoration. 

Detaching

Raymond Chappa
Author Image

While he loved gentle walks in sunny Arizona, my late husband was also a spiritual contemplative, spending innumerable hours reading and meditating: going inward. Detaching is a phase in dying, and can occur even months before releasing the body. It is the phase of acceptance and peacemaking; it may involve time with others, exchanging goodbyes and expressions of gratitude. For many though, detaching from the worldly, social realm is a choice to "listen" to another realm:  the heart space, the space of Spirit, the space of loved ones on 'the other side.' This is well documented and in my own hospice vigiling, I have witnessed seemingly one-sided conversations, or nodded when a glazed-eyed woman pointed to the window and said happily, "Look at the angels!"

Sacred Space

Author Image

Readers of this blog may have read my posts about Sacred Dying. The philosophy encourages creating an environment that recognizes death as a sacred mystery rather than a medical event. Ray and I agreed that in his final days, I would care for his comfort and honor his wish for privacy and peace. He wanted his unencumbered Consciousness free to do its work, free from emotional visitors or phone calls. Yes, it was frustrating for distant family who demanded he take a call, but I was committed to be his guardian angel, bearing a fiery sword if necessary.

Last Words

And so, in a lucid interval, Ray dictated messages as I scribbled. Profoundly aware that he had harvested these words from a very deep place, I cherished each pen stroke.

1. Ray expressed a sentence of thanks to a person who had provided support during a life-changing difficulty many years prior. He asked me to pass the message on.

2. There was a brief message to his brother, with a final wish for a pending inheritance.

3. Finally, he simply shared: 

"There is no one among you

 that I do not love.

Thank you.

No other words are necessary."

Now, two years after his transition, as my own spiritual studies guide me to new awareness, I remember that I was handed an essential Truth by someone very dear, as he stood in the doorway of eternity. It is a Truth we have read in the world's great sacred books. It is a gift.

Thank you for sharing and caring!

When You Are A Witness

 I have witnessed many people leave their bodies at death. Technically, I do not see souls--or any special effects of spirit--other than the body releasing its grip on this thing we call life. But I believe in its exit. Consistent with Unity teaching, Unity minister, Ellen Debenport, described our four essential layers of existence as being like 'Russian nesting dolls,':  (the smallest) the body+the ego+the soul+Spirit (our God essence.) The physical body and the mental ego are left behind at death, as our individualized, eternal conciousness continues its journey. 

Respectfully, I realize this set of beliefs is not universally accepted, but I hope you will continue reading. Readers may wish to further explore this topic of 'nonlocal consciousness' (the continuity of consciousness after physical death) in The Immortal Mind: Science and the Continuity of Consciousness beyond the Brain by Ervin Laszlo, with Anthony Peake.

Author Image

Perhaps you have read accounts of NDE (Near Death Experience) and can envision with me, the shift that occurs in consciousness when it is free of the body. Raymond Moody brought this to wider awareness in his 1975 book, Life After Life. It is through NDE accounts that we can even glean what occurs at death and yet, someday, each of us will have this ultimate mortal experience. 

Midday on March 19, 2022, my husband and I were driving to an event in Tucson and came upon an accident scene. Despite my professional experience, it shook me up. Now, one month later, I have found some peace and understanding. The circumstances remain very sad and more should be done to ensure cycling is a safe recreational experience. 

Witness

I am lying on the side of the road at least 

my body is. 

Is that my wife too

A few yards west

Lying on the side of the road?

There is my beautiful

full carbon Vitesse EVO

with its sexy stiffness

Its four grand float fantasy frame

Oddly crumpled near the sheriff’s suv.

I am lying on the side of the road at least

My body is.

And yes my beautiful young wife

Lies beneath a tarp 

As do I and yet

 she now takes my hand saying:

Cookie

Looks like our ride is over.

My beautiful wife

My beautiful cycle

oh my oh my oh my

Everything, simply everything

Is beautiful.

And what do you know

I feel no concern that

the dog is waiting for her midday treat or

I’ll be a no-show at choir rehearsal or

The gas bill still needs a stamp or

I wore yesterday’s underwear again today.

‘Aha!’ hardly begins to explain

What I feel see hear know

This joy-peace without emotion

This radiance without glare

This vibrance without clamor

This knowing without quest or question

All this all this all this.

+++

In memory of Kenneth and Gretchen Cook

Cyclists killed March 19, 2022, Tucson AZ 

+++

Thank you for caring and sharing...and please:

Share the road!