Twilight
Detaching
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Sacred Space
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Last Words
"There is no one among youthat I do not love.Thank you.No other words are necessary."
Growing through grief is a newer theme of this blog, but I will continue to coach readers on crafting a comforting sympathy note. Your goal is a sensitive message that does not preach or judge. It truly becomes memorable.
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Raymond Chappa Author Image |
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"There is no one among youthat I do not love.Thank you.No other words are necessary."
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Let me interject that, if your loss has resulted in a post-traumatic stress disorder for which you are following a care plan of treatment, please adhere to your plan. Healing and feeling secure are within your reach when you surround yourself with unconditionally loving support. At times, professional support is essential.
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While driving recently, I saw a service truck with a door panel that read: ChasRoberts *A/C *Plumbing *Caring. Huh? Stopped at a light, I looked twice, carefully reading what I thought I'd read the first time: Yep, it said Caring. Skeptics might say, "sure, it sounds good, but does it mean anything?" I have never used the company, and in truth, rendering care is something done by a person not an entire company. The takeaway for me, though, was simply c-a-r-e.
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Caring. Hiking this morning after a rainy night, I saw heart rocks revealed from their bed of washed soil; I saw a heart shaped puddle in the surface depression of a large rock; I saw tangles of vine twisted by wind into a heart shape. We are constantly in positions to care, to recognize the opportunity in a moment's sweet surge of gratitude or compassion.
Compassion is a state of heart, not co-dependence. In true compassion we do not lose our own self-respect or sacrifice ourselves blindly for others. Compassion is a circle that encompasses all beings, including ourselves. It blossoms only when we ask, “Is this compassionate for ourselves as well as others?” When these two sides are in harmony true reconciliation can happen.
There are a few areas on my ceramic tile floor that, if tapped, have a hollow sound. The thinset mortar has shrunk creating inner spaces, fragile pockets of emptiness.
There are times when I tap at my heart, and find hollows in the resonance of my well being and life balance. My first aid kit at these times (in no particular order) are reliable practices to restore personal harmony:
Thank you for caring and sharing!
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I have been volunteering with hospices for thirty+ years. Last year, I prepared a resume of my experience and was gratified by not only the enduring commitment to this work, but how far I've come in understanding its nuances. It is such rewarding work because it courageously embraces the most powerful reality of life: our human form will reach an end point or as some term it-- a passage of transition to being without a body. Just being present to someone in the terminal phase of life and then, their active dying phase, feels sacred.
"Tuberculosis (TB) is a potentially serious infectious disease that mainly affects the lungs. The bacteria that cause tuberculosis are spread from person to person through tiny droplets released into the air via coughs and sneezes."
I have witnessed many people leave their bodies at death. Technically, I do not see souls--or any special effects of spirit--other than the body releasing its grip on this thing we call life. But I believe in its exit. Consistent with Unity teaching, Unity minister, Ellen Debenport, described our four essential layers of existence as being like 'Russian nesting dolls,': (the smallest) the body+the ego+the soul+Spirit (our God essence.) The physical body and the mental ego are left behind at death, as our individualized, eternal conciousness continues its journey.
Respectfully, I realize this set of beliefs is not universally accepted, but I hope you will continue reading. Readers may wish to further explore this topic of 'nonlocal consciousness' (the continuity of consciousness after physical death) in The Immortal Mind: Science and the Continuity of Consciousness beyond the Brain by Ervin Laszlo, with Anthony Peake.
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Midday on March 19, 2022, my husband and I were driving to an event in Tucson and came upon an accident scene. Despite my professional experience, it shook me up. Now, one month later, I have found some peace and understanding. The circumstances remain very sad and more should be done to ensure cycling is a safe recreational experience.
Witness
I am lying on the side of the road at least
my body is.
Is that my wife too
A few yards west
Lying on the side of the road?
There is my beautiful
full carbon Vitesse EVO
with its sexy stiffness
Its four grand float fantasy frame
Oddly crumpled near the sheriff’s suv.
I am lying on the side of the road at least
My body is.
And yes my beautiful young wife
Lies beneath a tarp
As do I and yet
she now takes my hand saying:
Cookie
Looks like our ride is over.
My beautiful wife
My beautiful cycle
oh my oh my oh my
Everything, simply everything
Is beautiful.
And what do you know
I feel no concern that
the dog is waiting for her midday treat or
I’ll be a no-show at choir rehearsal or
The gas bill still needs a stamp or
I wore yesterday’s underwear again today.
‘Aha!’ hardly begins to explain
What I feel see hear know
This joy-peace without emotion
This radiance without glare
This vibrance without clamor
This knowing without quest or question
All this all this all this.
+++
In memory of Kenneth and Gretchen Cook
Cyclists killed March 19, 2022, Tucson AZ
I eat this stuff up! It is wonderful, inspiring, and I’ll even say, sanity-serenity saving! Just reading a couple dozen of Neil’s AWESOMEs has me setting up a new Gratitude Bowl.
I began using a Gratitude Bowl after I was widowed; it was an important exercise to look for the good, and trust that it is there to be found, in abundance, no matter what! In fact, I even felt a little constrained when I made a rule of only-one-gratitude-slip-per-day. Don’t know why I did that but this time, there will be no rules. I want to run and fill out slips for as many things as I can. I want to rush home to my pile of blank slips and catch up on all the good I collided with while out.
Life transitions--even if they are a blizzard of good things, are like new buds-- vulnerable to the Goliath of old defenses, ego, and fear. Those party poopers just love to crank out bummer-inducing pink slips; it’s hell in the middle of the night and laughable after head clearing morning coffee and exercise.
I recently detected that an attitude intervention was needed. My usual body-mind-spirit self-care activities wore off too quickly, and even the abundant love in my wonderful remarriage was serving me like a loose BandAid. Neil’s AWESOME book arrived at just the right time and now, my new Gratitude Bowl will be part of the attitude intervention.
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RECIPE FOR A GRATITUDE BOWL:
Choose a bowl, any kind of bowl!
Cut slips of paper-- any kind of paper!
Place a pen or marker nearby.
Thank you for caring and sharing!