The Gift of Last Words

Twilight

Twenty-four hours before his transition, weak, and sedated for comfort in his home hospice bed, Raymond called me over and said softly, "I may not be able to talk tomorrow; there are some things I'd like you to write down."  I took the notebook I'd been using to log medication doses, opened to a new page and replied, "I'm ready, Ray. I'll write down anything you wish."

Over the prior three days, once we had found the right drugs to support his comfort, Ray had spent many hours in a twilight of sleep. Disease symptoms still broke through occasionally, but there were longer intervals of peace. I believe, as do most hospice professionals, that end-of-life sleeping is often a time of life processing, healing of psyche, and soul invigoration. 

Detaching

Raymond Chappa
Author Image

While he loved gentle walks in sunny Arizona, my late husband was also a spiritual contemplative, spending innumerable hours reading and meditating: going inward. Detaching is a phase in dying, and can occur even months before releasing the body. It is the phase of acceptance and peacemaking; it may involve time with others, exchanging goodbyes and expressions of gratitude. For many though, detaching from the worldly, social realm is a choice to "listen" to another realm:  the heart space, the space of Spirit, the space of loved ones on 'the other side.' This is well documented and in my own hospice vigiling, I have witnessed seemingly one-sided conversations, or nodded when a glazed-eyed woman pointed to the window and said happily, "Look at the angels!"

Sacred Space

Author Image

Readers of this blog may have read my posts about Sacred Dying. The philosophy encourages creating an environment that recognizes death as a sacred mystery rather than a medical event. Ray and I agreed that in his final days, I would care for his comfort and honor his wish for privacy and peace. He wanted his unencumbered Consciousness free to do its work, free from emotional visitors or phone calls. Yes, it was frustrating for distant family who demanded he take a call, but I was committed to be his guardian angel, bearing a fiery sword if necessary.

Last Words

And so, in a lucid interval, Ray dictated messages as I scribbled. Profoundly aware that he had harvested these words from a very deep place, I cherished each pen stroke.

1. Ray expressed a sentence of thanks to a person who had provided support during a life-changing difficulty many years prior. He asked me to pass the message on.

2. There was a brief message to his brother, with a final wish for a pending inheritance.

3. Finally, he simply shared: 

"There is no one among you

 that I do not love.

Thank you.

No other words are necessary."

Now, two years after his transition, as my own spiritual studies guide me to new awareness, I remember that I was handed an essential Truth by someone very dear, as he stood in the doorway of eternity. It is a Truth we have read in the world's great sacred books. It is a gift.

Thank you for sharing and caring!