Virtual Funerals in the Time of Covid-19

When I worked in funeral service, the biggest tech challenge from day to day was getting a family's photo slideshow to play on our chapel's big screen monitor. Sometimes they hadn't properly closed their program before removing a flash drive, or the photos were stuck in a document folder. Our business maintained national music performance licenses, so we didn't have to worry about all the copyrighted songs families were downloading to their slideshows.

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Years ago, I frowned at a story about a mortuary's drive-by casket viewing feature. Today, funeral home staff are being called to interface with social media in ways that demand new skills and tremendous empathy. I admire their fortitude.

Some of us have already participated in a virtual funeral. While summer "hotspots" raged, a family death out of my home state prevented me from travelling to attend. I was sad to not participate, but shared remembrances with the clergyman, so he could incorporated them into his eulogy. This funeral would not be virtual so, while it took place 2,000 miles away, I watched a photo slide show, read inspirational verses and shared memories with my husband.

I urge readers to explore the following article about virtual funerals because knowing the terrain, can reduce stress if you later find yourself navigating there.

The Condolence Coach asks you to remember these 3 unchanging condolence principles:

1. Written words of sympathy matter greatly; send a card with a personal note to the family or c/o the funeral home. An emailed condolence is okay, too. Any contact with an isolated mourner is hugely comforting!
2. Share a favorite and uplifting memory, but if it's your turn to talk during a streaming virtual funeral, be brief.
3. Express gratitude for the life of the deceased and especially thank the family for hosting the opportunity to "gather."

Tips for your Covid-impacted condolence note

The Virtual Funeral

CNNhealth: Funerals go virtual in the pandemic. Here's how to plan one with meaning and honor the dead

Remember the Caregivers!

Whether you dub them "heroes" is your choice, but remember to:

• thank caregivers
• acknowledge their own emotional journey and, 
• consider inviting them to a virtual funeral or later memorial gathering.

Read more about Condolence to Caregivers

Thank you for caring!