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First, the loneliness
Tony and Liz* met at a widower/widow support group. They clicked and continued a steady, comforting companionship. Although we grow in numbers day by day, being widowed---losing a spouse/life partner sure feels lonely! Who else but another grieving spouse can understand how it feels to now wake alone, eat meals alone, make decisions alone, do all the little daily things alone. You look at that section called 'Emergency Contact' on various applications and medical information forms and you're struck (often stuck) wondering: No one's got my back! No one's waiting for me!
So Tony and Liz had many conversations, learned each others' stories---joys and heartbreaks, accomplishments and dreams. They appreciated being real with each other about losing 'the love of their life.' And that's when Liz shared about the feathers.
People have long had experiences of contact with a departed loved one. It may be a familiar scent in the air, the appearance of a symbol, object, song; the possibilities are endless and deeply personal. Sometimes, a surviving spouse or family member had requested "when you get to heaven, send me a sign," and there may have been an agreed-upon indicator. Liz had heard of someone receiving a feather as a sign of wellbeing after death. She liked that idea and told her dying husband, Lenny: Please send me feathers of encouragement.
Well, she got feathers! Liz has told of feathers wafting in her home, and laying on unexpected surfaces. It warms her heart. She shared the story of feathers with Tony, who'd never heard of such things. He'd not asked his weakening wife for a heavenly signal and now regretted it. What a comfort it would be to somehow hear from Maura!
One afternoon, sitting together on Liz's patio, a feather drifted down and settled on her leg. Look at that! they both happily acknowledged. Moments later, the feather lifted on a slight breeze and, "of all the places it could have gone to settle, it landed on my leg!" Tony marveled.
There was no doubt in their minds. It was a loving blessing from beyond.
How To Respond
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- Be supportive, whether or not you believe in unusual or paranormal experience. Say:
- I can tell you have been comforted by this, and I am so happy for you.
- Who am I to judge whether this is possible or not? It is fascinating, wonderful, and a blessing!
- Do not judge, belittle, try to explain, or re-direct your widowed friend to what you deem are more worthwhile activities or insights.
- Read: Be Brave With Your Life
Read more about special messages from departed loved ones:
Unusual Comforts in Grief: keep your opinions to yourself
Thank you for caring and sharing!
*This true story was shared with me, but for their privacy, I've changed names.
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